How To Save A Marriage 5 Things You Can Do Today

Have you been looking for advice on how to save a marriage, but
can’t seem to find anything more than vague tips about learning
communication skills, not criticizing, forgiving each other? Well,
sure, those things are great, but there’s a lot you can do today
to make things better. While most of these steps for how to save
a marriage take some time, they’re all things you can start doing
right now.

Have a cooling down period!

Whether your spouse has just told you they want a divorce or you’ve
been talking about it for a while, a cooling down period will do you
both some good. Take about a week to get away from each other and
gather your thoughts. This is no time to make a laundry list of your
“future ex’s” faults, though!  Instead, focus on remembering why you
fell in love with your spouse in the first place and think through
some calm, respectful ways to address the problems when you see each
other again.

Work on your own issues!

Yes, you have issues, too. Sorry. And these aren’t just issues
between you and your spouse, but issues related to any emotional
baggage you brought into the marriage, too. If you’re taking a
cooling off period, that’s a great time to work on these problems,
although you shouldn’t expect to resolve any deep issues in such
a short time.

Keep in mind, too, that you need to be careful about assigning blame,
especially if your spouse has been violent or verbally abusive. While
many therapists who understand how to save a marriage will remind you
it “takes two to tango,” don’t start thinking you “made” your partner
act a certain way.

Resolve conflicts!

If you’ve already taken your cooling off period and given some
serious thought to how you might be contributing to the conflict,
set aside a few uninterrupted hours (read: get a babysitter) to
talk things over. If it seems like you always end up in shouting
matches every time you try to work things out, you might want to
do this in a marriage counselor’s office. A neutral third party
knowledgeable about how to save a marriage can really help keep
things sane so you can make some real progress.

Spend quality time with each other!

Not spending enough quality time together is often what starts
marital problems in the first place. Then once the marriage is
really on the rocks, you spend more and more time apart. Fortunately,
it’s an easy trend to reverse. Find something you both enjoy doing,
as long as you can chat with each other while doing it, and schedule
a time for the activity at least twice a week.

Be Patient!

Most truly useful advice on, “how to save a marriage”, won’t give
you quick fixes that you can get done in one day, but a lot will
give you tactics you can at least try out right away. Whether you
think you need a short break from your spouse to ease tensions or
you just need to focus on each other a little more to keep things
from really falling apart, there’s always something you can do today
to get started in the right direction. The important thing is to take
action now and not waste any more time hoping things will get better
on their own.