Healthy Relationships Its Time To Remove Your Blinders

We all want healthy relationships, but how do we go about finding the right person so that we can have a great relationship? Well, to tell you the real truth, it might be less hard to tell you what not to do, than what to do if you want a great loving relationship.

Of course, we want all the relationships we enter into to be healthy, not only the romantic ones. We want good relationships with friends, families, children, siblings, etc, but for the reason of this article I’m going to concentrate on the romantic variety of relationships (though a lot of this advice would work for other types of relationships too),

In general people make a considerable amount of mistakes on their quest for love. They overlook very obvious signs of trouble in the beginning. Its’ much easier to finish a relationship when you begin to see signs that the person you’re involved with isn’t really right for you, early in the relationship. The further the relationship progresses, and the greater the feelings become, the harder it is to finish things.

That’s why it’s so important to take off the blinders right from the beginning. Now, a word of caution, you can’t get too caught up on each little thing and set your expectations so high that you’re being unreasonable either. No one is perfect, not even you. The trick is to find someone as near to your definition of perfect as possible.

Someone who lies, especially at the beginning of the relationship when everyone is supposed to be on their finest behavior, should be a deal breaker. Someone who is always a few minutes late, while annoying, might be something you will be able to overlook if all else is wonderful.

You do have to pick and choose, just like they will have to do with you and your foibles. The point is that things that are a sign of a serious character flaw such as lying, cheating, or being abusive are not the types of things that should be overlooked. More often than not, these traits tend to get worse with familiarity which means the longer the two of you are together, the worse things will probably turn out.

So in the future that ‘great’ new guy you just met quips a ‘joke’ about how fat you’re getting you really need to stop and think. If his ‘jokes’ bother you, tell him. The way he responds will tell you all you need to know. If he sincerely apologizes for hurting your feelings and follows that apology up by not doing it anymore he was probably really just making a joke and meant no harm.

But alternatively if he turns it around on you and blames you for being ‘too sensitive’ and then carries on to do it over and over again (or some variation thereof) he’s an abusive sort of person and you should kick him to the curb before it goes any further.

There is a large amount of information available on how to find and have  healthy relationships, and a lot of it can be helpful. But in the end, you’ll have to rely on your own common sense and if you don’t ignore the warning signs early on you’ll greatly enrich your chances of finding someone who can make you happy for the long haul.

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